New Chapter

Never say never. I am reflecting back on a conversation I had with a group of Mom friends at a park several years ago. One of the moms had decided to take all her kids out of school and home school them. We all listened to her, asked questions and did our best to support her decision no matter what our choice would have been given the same situation. I remember thinking, under what circumstances would I home school my child or children? As an educated, trained, credentialed public school teacher, would I ever take my child out of school? At the time I felt I would under two conditions--1) safety and 2) academics--if they had fallen far behind.

People home school for a variety of reasons. School is too far away, school culture vs. home culture, religion, travel, flexibility, medical reasons, there are many reasons. For me personally, I loved school. I was good at it. I liked most all my teachers. Some of them I adored. I liked most all the kids at school. I could keep up and understand what we being taught. I enjoyed the social part of school, all my friends were there. And I really liked getting a good grade or score on something I had worked hard on.

So why am I posting on home-school? I pulled my son out of school a couple weeks ago. My birthday was his last day. It wasn't the end of a semester, it wasn't even something I had thought about and calculated over many weeks or months. And it wasn't even for the reasons I above thought I might home-school for. Long story short, I pulled him out because I love him, he was miserable, I listened to my mom gut, and after prayers, tears, worry and finally peace, I knew it was what I was to do.

I called and spoke with two friends much further down the road of parenthood about their home-school experience. Both had talked about it in the past and both were very successful in my opinion. They were so helpful. And I've continued to speak with many who have tried it or who have experience. Over the past couple weeks I have researched and learned about home-school and all it has to offer. It's been an interesting and, in a way, exciting experience. Although I didn't expect this chapter in my life, I am welcoming it. I am grateful I have the time, background and resources to do it and do it well.

But perhaps the biggest reason for this post (other than my New Year's Resolution) is the change I have seen in my son. He smiles. He laughs. He talks to people. He asks questions. His manners are coming back. He's kinder. Mostly he is just happy again. So all the reasons I thought were valid reasons to home-school, to them I add peace and happiness. And bonding. We are close friends again. And it's wonderful.

There's a part of me that wonders if maybe the whole reason I felt like I should be a Math teacher was really so that I could be a better teacher for my children. And there's a part of me that knows that all those years I kept asking, "why am I not a Mom yet?!" that Heaven knew I had more preparation work to do so that I would be ready and equal to the task. My family isn't better or harder than other families, it just took more time. The best part of it all is the neat experiences I have and all the neat experiences I will continue to have.

And my mom heart is very full. Very grateful. Very blessed.