Be Still My Heart

Well, I would be a really lousy blogger if I didn't post this week. Much has happened.

Aaron turned 5 and he got a pretty special gift.

But before I tell you about the gift. I must say something about faith. There are things you can control and there are things you just can't. And in my time so far, it seems to me that things work out best when you follow your heart, do what you know is right and trust that things will be ok and even perhaps good or perfect. Maybe they won't, but mostly they will and at least you know you gave it your all.

That being said, we got a call. Last Thursday about a baby girl. She was born in rough circumstances and is not yet legally free for adoption. This means parental rights still exist (although birthparents are not in the picture so far, and have already lost children to the state) and it also means they have not exhausted extended family options. So it's a risky placement. Still she needs a home and love. And that we have. Plenty of it.

So we talked and prayed and followed our feelings. On Friday I called back and said we would take her. On Saturday I bought an infant car seat for her, Sunday we told our family, and Monday we picked her up.

I must say she is pretty spectacular and who ever gets her is just plain blessed. She's an angel. Peaceful, cuddly, content, and beautiful. She's dainty and petite compared to our boys. Born July 3rd, she's now 1 month and probably close to 8 lbs. We find out her exact size tomorrow at the doctors. She sleeps well, eats well, and is just very easy to fall in love with. The boys are very smitten. They silently sneak in while she sleeps just to look at her. So sweet.

They know she might not stay. We all know.

K, so here's a picture. It's my favorite one so far:



So how do you not fall in love?
Well, you do fall in love.

Do you worry about the future?
Well, no. You have faith. Faith that the right thing will happen for her. The only worry is recovering if/when she leaves. But again you rely on your faith to carry you through. There's no doubt she should with us now, so I have to go with that.

We will either love her a lot forever, or miss her a lot when she's gone.

So happy birthday Aaron. This birthday was pretty unforgettable.
(Aaron also got gifts and a trip to Chucky Cheese with grandpa, plus a family party on Sunday, so he's good in the birthday department.)

And I promise I'll let you in on her fate as soon as I know it. My only wish is that it's determine soon.

(Well, ok fine. And also that we keep her, but that's unfortanately not my call.)