A Very Big Deal

I rarely post anything about the in's and out's of adopting through the state. As some of you know we are in the process of adopting Aaron and Owen through the state of Washington. Actually Aaron and Owen aren't their legal names. That's just what we call them and what we will name them when we finally adopt them.

Any adoption agency will tell you it is very risky to bring children into your home that are not legally free for adoption. "Legally Free For Adoption" means that the birth parent's parental rights have been relinquished (they willingly signed papers ending their parental rights) or terminated (the state held a trial and ended their parental rights). Bringing a child home who is not legally free for adoption means that there is a big possibility that the child will at some point go back and live with their birth parents or their legal parents. In fact the primary goal of the state is always to reunite children with their biological parents. Foster parents are licensed to take children into their homes for the state and care for them until they can return to their families or until they are legally free for adoption in which case they will be placed in an adoptive home.


The interesting part of Aaron and Owen's story is that they have been in our home for 18 months now, yet they have not at all been legally free for adoption. We knew we would adopt them. We accepted them, welcomed them into our family, had a baby shower, bought baby books for them, included them in our family in every way you would a new biological baby born to you, yet technically and legally they belonged to someone else. Are we crazy? Perhaps. But really we brought them home on faith. Faith and hope that someday they would be ours. The choice to bring them into our lives was based on our relationship with their extended family and the feelings we had in our hearts for them before we ever met them.

Well, the really big deal is that Aaron and Owen are now legally free for adoption! After 18 months with us, we are now beginning the adoption process. December 2, 2008, their birth mother signed papers relinquishing her rights. (a very brave and selfless choice on her part--I'm very proud of her) She will still have contact with them through an OCA (open contact agreement) we negotiated with the state that she agreed to and signed. On March 4th the birth father's rights were terminated by the state at a trial he failed to attend. (He's been MIA for a wuile.)

It has been quite an experience becoming foster parents, bringing home two baby boys 10 months apart in age, learning their personalities, history and needs, but mostly it has been a joy--an exhausting challenge, but truly a joy. They are doing so well, growing and learning so much. Each is a gift in his own way. We are so excited they will officially forever get to be part of our family! (And also very excited not to work with the state anymore!)

The only way we have been able pull through this uncertain process was through the support of family and friends who encoraged us, loved us, brought meals over when we were sick or in need, babysat for us, but mostly who just believed in us and what we were doing. Never underestimate how powerful little acts of love can be for an individual or a family.

We are planning a huge adoption celebration weekend as an "official" welcome to the family party for the boys and as a huge thank you to all our friends and family who have loved us through the journey. Not sure which weekend yet, we are waiting to hear from our new adoption social worker, but it will be quite a weekend!